Habit 1: BE PROACVTIVE

This entry is dedicated to all human who are currently under grief (myself inclusive).

When we are struck with bad news, we often wail and curse God for afflicting those unbearable trials on us. Why me? Why this? Why now? Maybe we should ask all these, but not without a good, strong faith in what God has in store for us. I mean seriously, do you really think God has fun by simply putting us in misery? There must be a reason, and we need to seek out WHY.

I urge you to make time to watch the following video till the very end. If God were to take our eyesight today, would we be able to come to term with out new reality with grace as this beautiful girl? However heavy your trial is, have faith that God loves you, that is why He award you with life.

"I will do my best!" - Ye Eun, 5 year old super human being.

The lyrics from her favorite song:

"You Were Born To Be Loved"

You were born to be loved

And you are receiving that thru your life

You were born to be loved

And you are reciving that through your life

The love from God that started since

the beginning of your birth

becomes connected with us meeting each other

You were born to be loved

ANd you are reciving that through your life

The importance of a leader

wow. it's been months since I last wrote here.

I could easily blame my tight schedule as the main reason of not being able to do so, but that would bring me back to the state of independency.

Despite my hardship trying to adjust to the new environment, I must make it a habit to update my blogs, especially this one. Since despite the humungous challange of the environment I am currently in, I would not have made it this far without the help of 7 habits. The second reason, I want to document all the things that irk me, while I am yet to be immune to the new surrounding, while my senses are in high sensitivity, before I 'get along' and get comfortable.

My current environment if infected with scarcity mentality. The entire nation seemed to be taught since little to think that there is only so much, and we must compete to be on top. They quote lack of resources (since they live on a tiny island) as the main reason. i can see now why Covey put a great emphasize on the danger of such thought/belief. It's a very devastating paradigm since it governs the way we act. This nation is losing, since they lack trust amongst themselves.

Initially I was impressed by my new boss of her ability to think quickly. But slowly my emotional bank account is depleting, since I find that I can no longer trust her. In many occasions, I witnessed duplicity, inconsistent principles, not walking the talk, ego and stealing credits when it's not due. I know 7 habits also teach us about Principle centred leadership, how we should not let any boss be our compass, but her leadership does effect my relationship and my work performance. I find it hard to find my true compass since she is still a decision maker, and I am merely the executioner. More often than not, I disagree with her decisons, but am not at the place to say so.

I must go back to the book, and re-read in order to help me get through this.

Trying time

In my 33 years of living, today would be one of those days where reminding myself to make full use of Habit 1, is the only thing that I can do in order to keep sane.

Last month, I changed my career of 10 years and uprooted my family to a new country. It's been a month; my hubby hates his new job, the kids hate their new school, teachers and friends. Sadly, I have to say the same about my new environment too.

It's easy to fall into all habits and blame everything but at the same time I cannot afford to sulk into self-condemning of making this decision. I have made my decision, considering all risks and possibilities, and I have to be responsible for its outcome; both good and bad. My biggest hurdle is to be a cheerleader to hubby & my children when things are going tough for them; while I myself need the most cheerleading and support. And I have no one but myself to turn to.

At times like this, I remind myself of Viktor Frankl. No matter how hard my obstacle see to be, they are miniscule compared to what Victor had to endure. I am using the same techniques, taking these circumstances as mere journey to take myself and my family to a higher place. It is just a matter of time before everything will fall into place. I will just have to concentrate on my circle of influence and take one day at a time, with the end in mind.

When an adult is a child, and a child is an adult

Sept 13th 2007 was the first day of Ramadhan for muslims. That's when we abstain ourselves from eating, drinking and practice patience. My 7 y.o son decided to fast for the whole month, since last year he could only manage a few days.

Hubby and I are glad though skeptical. This is his first year in real school, with bag almost heavier than himself. He goes to afternoon session, which will make it even harder with the heat and all. But we encourage him and give him money to spare in case he decided to break his fast at school.

It rained heavily that day, muddy water everywhere. Underestimate the potential heavy traffic, we arrived late at his school. On the way there, hubby was cursing at people cutting queues, honking at motorbikes, along with whining and grumbling.

When we arrived, I saw my son standing under the shed, soaking wet (rain came sideways with the heavy wind), standing (all seats were wet), with his heavy bag on his shoulders. He saw me and beamed with a smile. We had to go thru puddle of water, which soaked his shoes and lower part of his pants. Ho proudly told us that he is still fasting despite his ordeal of the day. He had to restrain himself when his fellow classmate drinked juice in front of him. Some boys were trying to be funny by teasing him with ice cream. What a day!

Yet, he managed to smile when he saw me. We his parents, spend hours in an air-conditinoed office, no one taunting us with ice cream, we were'nt require dto lift any heavy things...yet fail to be patient on the road. Cursing, honking, ... a smile? A definite luxury.

My son obviously had used the space between his stimulus and chose an appropriate response. Being proactive, my son managed to ignore the circle of concern (inconsiderate friends, weather, etc) to achieve his end in mind (complete his fasting).

It really amazes me that a child can become so mature, yet we the parents who have attended 7 Habits, failed to make full use of the space between stimulus and response, we quickly succumbed back to our autobiographical response and focus on our Circle of Concern. Sometimes, a child can be so adult and adult can be so childish.

Mission Completion

I apologize for not posting lately. Been occupied with work and other matters. But that is not an excuse. This blog is also a 'Big rock' to me, hence I need to discipline myself to update it regularly.

Yeehaw!! Finally I have completed my sharing session with my colleagues on all 7 Habits. Last Wednesday was our last session and we had a small party to celebrate. They treat me lunch (Thanks so much guys!) and I am so glad I managed to finish it and hopefully some (if not all) would be inspired to live the habits.

Would I do it again? Yes, I would. Would I do it differently? Not too sure, but there were some sessions where I think I could improve.

To all, wish you all the best in trying to live the habits. Remember, old habits will pull you down like gravity. The focus is on the journey, not the destination.

Habit 3: Put 1st Things 1st

YES! I am back! I just finished this week's sharing session with my team, Habit 3: Put first things first. And I personally feel I did great; I delivered the points Dr.Covey conveyed in his audio CD, books & training - all in an hour!

What makes the difference this time, I think it's the fuel - the audience. I failed them, during the last session (Habit 2) when my mind was distracted by personal matters. I had to cancel last week's session since I wasn't ready and was afraid of another dissapoitnment. But I managed to get up and start walking again. I was surprised when only 2 people didn't make it this time; the room was still full of eager learners, who apparently still have faith in my ability. I am deeply honoured by their faith in me, and still giving me the oppurtunity to share with them what I've learned from Dr.Covey.

Today, we shared the following:

Day 3:
• See-Do-Get
• Big Rocks
• Compass vs. Clock
• Time Management Matrix
• “How to keep little things, little?”
• How To Plan the Week
• Challenge of the week

It's hard to keep going, when old habits & excuses pull you like gravity. It's easier for me to give up and call it quit, but I am not a quitter. And apparently neither do my friends. Right after the session, I watched a very inspiring video call 212 degree (http://www.212movie.com). I am even more confident now that I cannot stop since I have 12 people counting on me to share the wisdom of Dr.Covey's teaching.

I am so glad to discover that the fuel that keep me going, are not praises, acknowledgement or monetary gain. But seeing the faith & trust, my fellow friends had in me ignite the fire within, and I don't want it to fade away.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life...we can never help another, without helping ourselves.

Group 1, Day 3, Habit 2

I must say I am not elated after finishing my Habit 2: Begin with End in Mind with my group this week. I was not myself, my mind was distracted. The flow wasn't smooth, I wasn't prepared.

I guess the main reason is because I am lost, myself. How can a blind leading the blind? But there's no excuse for a shaddy performance. I knew I could do better, but I let stimulus gets the best of me.

I must quickly buck up, since I have lots of friends depends on me. More so, I don't want them to underestimate the learning value of what Dr.Covey had so perfectly achieved, by my below average teaching. Will use this weekend to find what's wrong and fix it!

Team,

I am sorry, will do better next time.