Group 1, Day 3, Habit 2

I must say I am not elated after finishing my Habit 2: Begin with End in Mind with my group this week. I was not myself, my mind was distracted. The flow wasn't smooth, I wasn't prepared.

I guess the main reason is because I am lost, myself. How can a blind leading the blind? But there's no excuse for a shaddy performance. I knew I could do better, but I let stimulus gets the best of me.

I must quickly buck up, since I have lots of friends depends on me. More so, I don't want them to underestimate the learning value of what Dr.Covey had so perfectly achieved, by my below average teaching. Will use this weekend to find what's wrong and fix it!

Team,

I am sorry, will do better next time.

My Catalyst

I recently had a very nice surprise; a gift from Franklin Covey Malaysia - a book called "Everyday Greatness". I can't describe the feeling when I receive the book, it made me feel so valued and recognised. Though I haven't really accomplish anything spectacular, they acknowledge my effort and willing to help in my stuggle. I feel so blessed and full of gratitude for these strangers who barely know me, but are willing to help me out. That was a great day for me.

I haven't got the chance to read all of the wonderful, inspiring stories in the book. But once I do, I will try to share it in this blog so that we all can spread the greatness of living and being. Sometimes we thought we need to do big, enormous effort to touch life of others. But in actual fact, it's the little things that we do, sometimes have a big impact in so many ways.

This gift helped me in so many ways. It inspires me to keep on going, no matter how slow or painful. It is a prove that there are still good in this world despite of what we read in the paper everyday. In a way, it helps me realize my personal legend, and hopefully to pursuit it too.

Thank you Linda, Kim, Zainal for this catalyst.

Dealing With Demotivated Supplier

Lunch time today, I met up with 4 other colleagues, my Table Group members from the 7 Habits training. This is our first meet up since the workshop 2 weeks ago. Of the many stories we shared, this one really a true example how 7 Habits can help making our lives better.

LHC, is an R&D Engineering Manager who is responsible for field issues. As one can imagine, the huge pressure on his shoulder, having to solve problems for customers almost the minute he receives any bad news. Last week, LHC needed to go to a supplier in China and solve a critical engineering issue believed to be originating from the supplier's process.

Now here is the problem; it was a known fact that this supplier will be soon strike out from our company's approved vendor list due to stiff competition. We know that for a fact, and so does the supplier. Since the news made known to the them, it is of no surprise that suppport and cooperation from the supplier had been close to none. Now, how is LHC supposed to solve this problem effectively & efficiently, when obviously his visit will not be welcomed with red carpet? Thank goodness he just completed the 3-day 7 Habits Signature program which taught him valuable techniques to turn such sour situation into a sweeter experience.

From what I gather, LHC started his conversation with the suppliers by doing a lot of emphatic listening, seeking to understand first, then only to be understood (H5). Once satisfied that they are on the same page, LHC shared his side of the story, on the need to solve the problem prompto since customers are waiting. Only when both sides seem to understand each other's objectives (H4 Think Win-Win), the high walls that once once between them seemed to collapse and replaced with a bridge of trust. From the kind of words LHC shared with me, I sensed that the suppliers' emotional bank account had been increased. While figuring out a way to solve the issue, both parties were more open, less defensive, and with the same end in mind (H2) - This problem needs to be solve since in the end we need to earn our customer's business & trust.

I was so pleased that everything turned out so well, and what's more seeing the spark in LHC's eyes during his story-telling. He was so excited and proud on how he had managed the situation so well with the help of 7 Habits. The 3-day workshop was time well spent, for sure!

Group 1, Day 2, Habit 1

The return rate of the participation of my sharing session is not that bad, only 1 drop-out from the Day1 session. I am thankful for these 7 colleagues of mine who sacrificed their lunch-hour to hear my humble public speaking skill.

We started the session with a sharing of experience. One friend shared a difficult time he's having with an inconsiderate colleague he called 'monster'. I tried practice emphatic listening, but I think I failed miserably! We exchanged stories about how should one handle people who don't seem to be interested to seek win-win. It's either their way, or the highway kinda guy. Since no solution from the discussion, I suggested to go thru the lesson from Habit 1 to see if we can figure out a way to address such situation proactively.

Below are what we've covered today:

Habit 1: Be Proactive

• Common human challenge we can address with Habit 1
• See-Do-Get
• Forest Gump vs. Lt. Dan Taylor
• Victor E. Frankl
• “How to be proactive?”
- Choose proactive response
- Use proactive language
- Expand your Circle of Influence
- Becoming the transition person
• Review See-Do-Get
• Challenge of the week (from the 7 Habit book)

During my preparation for the sharing session, there's only one image that kept up creeping up in my head when I read about being proactive, the habit of choice - Forest Gump. He may have an IQ of 75, but he sure is a lot wiser about life compared to Lt. Dan Taylor. He seems to be able to separate himself (more subconsciously than consciously, I guess) from his genetic make-up, his surroundings, his circumstances. Lt.Dan was bitter and sour and blame it on God for not killing him in Vietnam, yet too coward to end his own life. In a weird way, Lt.Dan learns to pick up and find himself back with the help of a 'stupid' guy like Forest. I guess, stupid is stupid does. I couldn't help to relate the two main characters in the movie to illustrate the opposite of proactiveness & reactiveness. I sure hope my fellow friends could grasp my intention.

I now realized how much I idolize Forest's mum. I wish I can manage raise such challenging child into a well-grown, fine adult like Forest. She truly is a lot of woman.

Group 1, Day 1

Today is the day that I start my sharing session with my closest colleagues. Was very apprehensive at first, not knowing what to expect.

The turn out was beyond my expectation; 5 people (out of 10 who accepted the invitation). I think I did okay, could improve on both the delivery & content. But I did learn more and convinced myself even more about the effectiveness of the teaching of 7 Habits. Below are the items that I shared during the 1.5 hour meeting:

Day 1:
“What is a habit, anyway?”
“Why do I need to change my habit?”
- Common human challenges
- Our comfort zone
- Cultural Tendencies vs. Principles
- How it all started
- Outward success vs. Inward success
- Primary vs. Secondary greatness
- P/PC Balance
“So, what is 7 Habits all about?”
- Maturity Continuum
- The power of paradigm

The team decided to meet up on weekly basis to go thru each habit one by one. We will start each sharing with a 20 min sharing session of struggle & success stories of trying the principles. Then I will spend the next 30 minutes sharing the following habit. We'll close the session with a new challange for the new habit we're learning.

To be completely honest, I am not too sure how this sharing session will sustain. In the end, if I can only catch one person and help him/her to internalize any of the 7 Habits, then I've achieved my goal. Since while preparing all these, I have truly gain a lot more insight and motivation to really live by the principles and realize my Mission Statement. In the end, I merely help myself more when I help others.

To the participants, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Our Family Mission Statement

I shared my experience of writing a mission statement with my 6 year old son. To give him an idea of what it's all about, I suggest we write one for our family. We came up with a few ideas, of course I had to cross out most of his suggestions (one of which was "To be allowed to play PS2 all day") and in the end, we came up with this:

• To learn, love & laugh together EVERYDAY


• To use MAGIC words (Please, Thank you & I'm Sorry) generously


• To fill a NEED, when there's a need

My son said it's a piece of cake for the first 2 missions, but having trouble with mission 3. I borrowed that phrase from "The Robots" movie where Mr.Bigweld uses it to encourage fellow robots to be inventive (find a problem and create a solution for it). So I guess my son was afraid that he might need to invent a new thing to help others. I told him he need not be afraid to fill in a big need. Showed him some examples of how he can in fact fill a need without an invention. For example, offer to help carry things for others, or help by playing with his little sis to keep her occupied while mummy is cooking, or help close the window when it gets too chilly. He was less apprehansive once I shared all these kind of small things he can do, to fill a need. No fancy invention is needed. Immediately he agreed, and put his signature & tumbprint of the printout of our Family Mission Statement.

Another wonderful thing is that, everynight before the children go to bed, they make a check on all three missions, whether or not each of us have fullfill them. Once everybody have shared how they fullfilled each mission for the day, we all feel very proud of ourselves and declared it a day. That's when the kids will pull over their blanket and sleep. Isn't that wonderful? And yes, we had to use the Talking Stick to give each other the chance to share their stories....Thank God I have only 2 children so far!

How It All Started

It's very hard to stay focus on changing old habits. I'm trying hard to find ways to keep on track. I really feel like this tree, trying to strive out of the big rock (old habits). Mother Theresa once said "To keep the lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it." I guess I need to find oil.

I decided to start sharing these stuffs with someone who have interest to change as well. Tried it with my husband, but as usual I failed to catch his interest or attention. Trying to shift my paradigm (by stop blaming him), I guess I should blame it on my approach. But I don't know what approach would be effective. To be safe I better stick to my approach, but with different people. Maybe I'll start with my colleagues. I have sent out an invitation to my closest 10 colleagues for a lunch get-together next week to share what I've learned at 7 Habits. So far all of them accepted, let's see next week how many would actually turn up, and how many would actually value the things I'm about to share.

If that doesn't work either, I guess I better change oil again...